learning how to live again
by TakeASmile
Summary: The nightmares wouldn't leave her alone. They had found her, of course, and she was alive, but the damages were here, making their way through her mind.
Hy!

So, this is my first attempt to write something in English, or even rizzles related. It has been months since i've last wrote anything, and i'm sorry about that, because you will probably see it through my words.

As English is not my mother-tongue, please, feel free to tell me if there is any mistake, it would help me to improve my English skills.

hope you'll like it!

ju

* * *

She woke up at the sound of a scream.

They had found Maura a month ago, one month after her abduction. Well. It wasn't really Maura they'd found this day, but a petite and vulnerable woman, who seemed to be afraid of everything and everyone.

It had been a tough month, really. At first, Jane had offered to sleep at Maura's place, but Maura had refused, arguing that she needed to feel like she had truly get her life back. Less than a week later, Jane had been woken up by a knock to her door frame. She barely had time to think about something to say, because she had soon found herself with a weeping Maura in her arms, a vision that had shattered a heart. Maura was not a hugger. She was tactile, yes, especially with Jane, but she was not the type of person who would normally throw herself in the arms of someone else.

Since that night, Jane had been sleeping at Maura's. Firstly in her couch, then in her bed. After all, they had sleep with each other a certain amount of time, so it wasn't such a bold move.

The nightmares were quite frequent. All of them weren't from Maura. Sometimes, it was Jane, who couldn't find herself to think about anything else but Maura's abduction, Maura's lifeless body. To be honest, if they had found her dead, she's not sure she would have been capable of living her life.

Jane put the light on.

The ME sat up, trying to catch her breath. She looked so fragile then, crying her heart out, with her hair a mess that was so not Maura.

Jane put her hand on Maura's shoulders, trying to calm her.

Hey, sweetie, I'm here okay. Nobody's going to hurt you. You're safe now.

Maura took a shallow breath, and laid down in her pillow, facing Jane.

\- What happened?

\- Well, he was there again. Except this time when I told him that you'll find me, he laughed and told me you didn't care. He told me that he would kill you. And you never came.

It was quite heart breaking, truly, that after all these years Maura simply could not believe that people actually cared about her. That people would look for her in the whole world if it was needed.

\- Maur. I'm here. We found you.

Jane licked her lips, trying to find the right words. Eventually, she found Maura's gaze and hold it, finding her strength in them.

\- When we discovered that you were missing and that they had you, I couldn't find myself to think about anything else. Hell, they had you. They could burn my house if they wanted it, but they didn't have the right to hurt you, understand? Korsak tried to calm me down, because honestly in this state of mind I wasn't helping at all. We never stopped looking for you. Every single man we had was trying to find a clue, any little thing that could lead us to where he had you locked up.

\- I think I knew it. But deep down, I was so afraid. The guy seemed to know what he was doing, see? Even if he didn't personally know you, he hated you nonetheless. He wanted to hurt you through me.

\- Yeah well, it worked.

Hell, it worked. The person after her, whoever she was, knew that her relationship with Maura was special. Probably knew Jane was in love with her when she was even too afraid to say it out loud. So yeah, what was better than kidnapping her, making Jane go crazy, seeing her wondering if her best friend was hurt or dead.

\- You know. When I was here, and he was manipulating me, he made me think that you would simply stop looking for me. That all of you, Korsak, Frankie, your mom, would go back to your life as If nothing happened. Because nobody cared.

Jane could not help but squeeze Maura's hand. That bastard probably knew Maura's insecurities. Probably knew Maura never had a best friend, or any friends, actually. That people used to call her Queen of the Dead, or think about how odd she was, even if she was stunning. He knew. And she hated him for that. And hated herself for being incapable of erasing those insecurities forever. She thought she had, but the manipulation this guy had use made all of them came back once again. Maybe they weren't really gone after all.

\- Maur, we would never have stopped looking for you. Never. Don't you see? You are loved. By so many, and so much.

\- Jane. Are you quoting Doctor Who? Said Maura, with a genuine smile that warmed Jane's heart. She smiled. For the first time since her abduction, Maura genuinely smiled, and it reached her eyes.

\- Well, I didn't know you watched it? Look at you being even nerdier than usual Doctor Isles.

\- Jane, just because I'm a medical examiner doesn't mean I cannot enjoy British tv-shows. And yes, I do love Doctor Who, I find it quite exquisite, really, and the River Song's episodes are my favorites.

\- Yeah, same actually.

An awkward silence fell over the pair. Maura's breathing was back to its regular rhythm, and they were facing each other, still holding hands. It was almost normal, almost like the way it used to be before Maura's abduction. Falling asleep at each other place without these dreadful nightmares, without all that fear that engulfed them.

\- So. You know the end of the quote, then? Added Jane.

\- I do. Whispered Maura.

Jane took a deep breath, trying to sound relaxed.

\- Maur, you are loved. By so many, and so much. And by no one more than me.

And then she simply kissed her.

Truly, she hadn't plane the whole thing. She just wanted Maura to know people cared about her, people loved her. She just wanted to make her feel safe, to protect her, as she has failed to do so 2 months ago.

Honestly, she didn't even care if her feelings weren't returned; she just wanted to make sure the blonde knew that she would always be there.

But Maura was returning the kiss, even leaning into it. And it felt so … right, so utterly right. Cause after all, it was meant to be, wasn't it? It was the next logic move of their relationship. And it felt so right.

Soft lips, light touches.

And a lingering feeling: home.

They'll have time to talk about it. To think about what it mean. Or perhaps they won't.

Tonight was not the time to think, or to talk.

Tonight was about home, about love. Tonight, everything was about healing, and its long path. A hard one, but one they were going to follow nonetheless.

Together.


End file.
